Collective Haul: Primark, Superdrug, Peacocks, & More!

Hello my lovelies, I hope you're all well and are having a good week. So as promised in my last post, it's time for this gigantic haul. I really am not exaggerating, there are so many things and I am realising this is why I never have any money... 

Anyway, worth it because of how many good things are in fashion at the minute! I just need to make clear that I did not buy these all in one go. All of these were bought in small doses and have now come together for this massive haul. So, if you do wanna see what I've been purchasing for Spring then please keep on reading! 

At the minute in the UK, the weather is a bit all over the place. Some days it's warm and dry and then the next day its cold and wet. Which is no surprise as that's the classic British spring/summer time weather. But either way, on those warmer days I don't want to go out in a super thick cardigan. If I have them on at the minute I'm too warm and if I take them off then I'm too cold - I cannot win! So as much as I love them I think it's time to move on and find some different kind jackets to wear as we move into the warmer months of the year. 

Firstly I've got this stunning black duster coat/jacket which I absolutely love! It's a thin chiffon type of material - so it's going to keep me nice and cool on those warmer days and nights but still give me a little bit of material to keep my arms warm. If you know me well, you'll know I am a sucker when it comes to anything with lace on and this lace around the hem gives the jacket a bit more of an edge instead of just being a classic black jacket. It's crazy how a small detail to a piece of clothing can really make it eye catching.

I love this, I cannot wait to wear this - I'll wear it most likely during the day and on nights out as well. 

From: River Island

Price: £20.00 

I have another gorgeous jacket. It's looking a bit washed out in these photos, but in real life its a really pretty blush pink which is just me all over. It's definitely more of an everyday jacket - it has some nice fake pocket detailing to give it a bit more depth. It fits me really well and is super soft and comfortable to wear. I'm really looking forward to wearing it. 

From: Very

Price: £30.00 

Now moving onto a big bulk of this haul which is of course Primark! Whenever I go into Primark I always come out with something. I can never just go in there to "browse", I always end up buying something. I have to say though Primark are doing some incredible fashion pieces for this years Spring/Summer collection that I desperately want to buy all of. I can't get over how many good things they have in right now - nice one Primark. A lot of fashion items in there feel very 60s esk which I am absolutely loving. 

So the first item I've bought is this simple lilac top. I've been really into shorter length tops at the minute and I have no idea why - I normally don't like them but for some reason at the moment I am really feeling the vibes. This top is ridiculously comfortable and it's so soft - I absolutely love wearing it. I also love the little tie at the front. 

From: Primark

Price: £6.00 

 Next we have this adorable tshirt. This screams summer to me which is what I thought when I picked this up. I was just extremely drawn to the pattern - again I feel like it's very 60s esk which I love! Again it's just a really nice soft material and super comfy to wear. It's not a super long top, it covers just below my stomach. It looks really nice with a pair of blue jeans and a pair of white lace ups. I love the little sleeve detailing and it's just a really nice casual tshirt. 

From: Primark

Price: £6.00 

Another fashion item I've been really getting back into are playsuits. I haven't had a playsuit that I really like and feel comfortable wearing for a couple of years. But recently Primark have been bringing loads of different ones in for their new collection. There's a lot of different ones in there at the minute with different patterns and materials - again a few of them feel very 60s inspired. My friend Jen got a red and white gingham one which looks absolutely stunning on her and that one was like a more of a cooling material - not soft. I'm not sure what you'd describe it as. I tried a blue stripe one on in the same material as Jen's and that was just too tight and did not look flattering on my body at all. 

So I found this plain black one which is just really nice soft cotton material with a bit of V neck to give a nice feminine touch. It just has an elasticated waist band which makes them super comfy to wear. These playsuits are super easy to dress up and to dress down. You can pair them with absolutely anything and they just work. Perfect for casual day to day or for a night out paired with some tights, heels, and a nice jacket.

I love it and I've already worn it so much already. I loved it so much, that I got another one!

I absolutely adore this pattern! I am a true floral girl at heart. Again, really comfy cotton material with an elasticated waist band. Once again, super easy to wear day to day or to dress up to go on a night out. I love these playsuits, I hope Primark bring out some more! 

From: Primark 

Price: £6.00 (each) 

I got a mint green/turquoise hair towel simply because I needed a new hair towel. I had two already but I've had them for quite a few years and they get used every other day, so it was time for a new one. I love this colour and the little heart gem sealed the deal. 

From: Primark

Price: £1.30 

So this next purchase was extremely random. I was in Primark with my friend Katie and we were having a browse round their holiday section - there are so many nice swim wear options so go and definitely check those out, but anyway we were around the sunglasses bit and we saw this case. I absolutely fell in love with it, I loved the pattern and the colour scheme but unfortunately this case is a sunglasses case and I can't wear sunglasses because I wear glasses every day. So we were stood in front of the stand thinking, What else can we use this for? I pulled my phone out my pocket and drop it in - perfect. 

It's the perfect size to fit my iPhone 6 comfortably and keep it safe. This is so much better for me as I usually just throw it in my bag and then I can't find it. Whereas keeping it in this little pouch means I always know where it is, it's another layer of protection for it, and it makes my phone look even more adorable. 

From: Primark

Price: £2.50 

As summer is approaching it means it is time to whack out one of my favourite types of shoes - sandals! I love sandals, I think I have more sandals than any other type of shoes if I'm being honest. Whenever it's a nice day I'll always whack the sandals out because my feet are one my favourite parts of my body, most people hate their feet but I love mine because they're not too small and not too big - in my opinion they're quite feminine. So I love getting them out in pretty sandal shoes. 

So I saw these and at first I didn't know what to make of them, they're not like any other sandals I've really had before. Something within me was telling me to buy them so clearly I bought them and I am so happy I did. Since I bought them I've been wearing them non-stop which is why they're a bit dirty at the front (apologies). I've been quite obsessed with denim at the minute and the straps as you can see are like a classic denim blue - so to me they feel like every day summer sandals. Nothing too fancy but nothing too boring. The straps are kind of a suede like material - super smooth and super soft which I love. And the most important factor they are ridiculously comfy! They have a bit of a raised sole which makes them extremely comfy to walk in. Considering they're cheap most of the time with cheap sandals the soles are pretty thin but these aren't which are a massive bonus. I'll be wearing these all through summer - I love them. 

From: Primark

Price: £8.00 

I got a new bag at last! Backpacks are officially the biggest trend of 2017. I never thought I'd ever use a backpack again after year 7 (let's not be reminded of that era of our lives, I'm sure most of you will know what I mean) but here we are again in year 15 (university 2nd year) back with a backpack again. I did have that red one from Debenhams if some of you remember that one and I really loved it. But now I've used it so much that it's just wearing away a bit now. So I decided it was time for a new one and I'd been searching for a while for the right one. My friend Em has a backpack from Primark, one of those smaller more compact ones - they're £7.00. Although they're really nice they're just not for me. They're just too small for me, I carry a lot of stuff around day to day and those small compact bags just wouldn't fit my daily essentials in. 

I saw this one and instantly fell in love, I just had to get it. The size is perfect for day to day - it fits in my phone, my purse, my makeup and daily essentials bag. That is all I carry every day so it's a perfect size. It also has enough space to fit a notebook in which will be perfect for next term as I'm only carrying around one notebook as we're doing one unit for 6 weeks. 

I adore this blush/baby pink colour - it's just me in a bag, the size is perfect, the material feels really nice and it feels good quality therefore hopefully it'll last a while, it hangs really nicely on my bag, and best of all it's practical. I don't have to swap arms all the time as the weight is evenly distributed on my back. 

From: Primark

Price: £9.00 

Natural Daylight 

No Light

 I think these are new as I haven't seen them in Primark until now. But they've brought out these lip kit type products which includes a lip liner and a liquid lipstick. I'm assuming they're trying to do their own cheaper version of the Kylie lip kits. 

 They have either matte or metallic ones but I love metallic products so I bought this one from the metallic range and it is in the shade Molten Lava. 

As you can see it's just a gorgeous metallic copper golden rose colour and on your lips is just gorgeous. This shade would be absolutely beautiful on darker skin tones. I'll be honest, the lip liner doesn't really work as a lip liner. It looks really pretty to look at in swatches but on the lips it just doesn't really do anything. I'm not sure what I'm gonna use it for, I may test it as an eyeliner or an eye glow type thing. But the actual liquid lipstick is really good. The colour is really opaque and it doesn't dry matte but it does dry slightly - it's quite satiny. Either way, I'd recommend them if you're looking for a lip kit that is not Kylie's because they are hella expensive. But I think this range has some nice colours and for the price you can't complain. 

From: Primark

Price: £3.00 

I bought another pink lip product, yes I am obsessed. This is another one of their Velvet Matte Lipstick Crayons to add to my growing collection. If you guys haven't ever used these, where the hell have you been? These lipstick crayons are ridiculously amazing for the price they are. They are so pigmented, opaque, the dry quickly, they're super easy to apply, and they last all day. This is the shade Ballerina, it's more of a mauve pink colour, it's actually a shade darker than their Nude as that's more pink toned. But I think this one is more of a mauve brown kind of pink toned shade. Either way cant wait to wear it, I love it already. I also got Chloe one for her birthday. 

From: Primark

Price: £1.00

This next purchase was definitely an impulse buy. I did not need to buy this as you can clearly see that it's a gift bag but look at it. They were selling all of these bags off for 50p! I couldn't not buy it for 50p! It has my favourite Disney princess in the middle and the bag is just adorable so I had to have it. I will actually use it though, I'm gonna use it as a bag to put extra things in that wont fit in my bag or take it to town and carry bits of shopping in. Obviously nothing too heavy as it is a gift bag but it is beautiful and was totally worth it. 

From: Primark

Price: 0.50p 

Right this is the final thing from Primark, I promise. I know there has been A LOT from Primark but they've just got so much good stuff in right now. So I got these really pretty gold rings in a pack of six. As you can see there's some floral, diamond, and coloured gem rings. I'm not normally a fan of gold rings but ever since I bought these I can't stop wearing them. Especially the two on my ring finger in the photo on the left. I wear these everyday at the minute and I've worn each ring at least twice. Big, big, big fan of these. If you can find them go and buy yourself a pack. 

From: Primark

Price: £1.00 

These days I am always on the hunt for new jeggings that look good and more importantly that are comfy. I absolutely hate feeling really restricted and tight in a piece of clothing I'm gonna wear all day. I used to hate jeans and jeggings that felt like jeans. Waaay back a few years ago my holy grail jeans were the H&M soft jegging type things - they looked like jeans but were leggings when you put them on. those were the comfiest things ever but unfortunately they were discontinued. Which mean't I really needed to find some new jeans. I have a huge mix of different ones now which are all really comfy and perfect for casual day to day wear. 

Recently these ones in the style of Kate from Peacocks have become my new favourite things. I've had this pair for quite a while now and they're my new favourite jeggings. They're super comfy to wear and just scream casual. Plus, they're not super short on me for once! As I'm tall I have major issues with jeans and jeggings being too short for my legs as I have quite long legs. But luckily, these sit right on my ankles which is where I need them to sit!

I love them, I love their fit and I love their colour. They're really good quality. If you're looking for a good pair of jeggings, take a trip to Peacocks. 

Love them so much I got them in the same blue as above, just cropped for the warmer months of the year and of course a black pair. Everyone has to have at least one colour of each denim jean - light, medium blue, and black. I'm gonna get so much wear out of these. 

From: Peacocks

Price: £12.00 (each) 

Continuing with the leg wear items of this haul, I've got some more snazzy trousers! I am obsessed with these. They are extremely comfy and cool - perfect for summer time, I love the colours and the pattern on the trousers, again they sit on my ankles so they're a good length for my legs. I wore these the other day with my cropped Lilac top and denim sandals mentioned above and I felt so 80s esk. I bloody loved it. 

I feel like my fashion style is becoming a bit more out of the box and creative whilst still being into the same type of clothes. Just the way I'm choosing to wear my clothes is more fun and I love it! There are so many of these snazzy trousers out and about at the minute, there's a few in Primark that I want and I wanna find some other places that have things like this, so if you guys know anywhere that has any. Let me know in the comments!

From: Matalan

Price: £12.00 

I got some notebooks! I have a ridiculous amount of really pretty notebooks that I love. It is a goal in the future to have a book shelf full of really pretty notebooks like these filled with creations, ideas, opinions, plans, journals etc. These were both from The Works. I am obsessed with that shop right now, I am getting some many nice little things from there for an amazing price. If you guys are into planning, scrap booking, crafting, or bullet journaling. I'd highly recommend you go in there and have a look around. They have so many nice notebooks that I desperately want but do not need. 

From: The Works

Price: £3.00 (each) 

Popping back to the beauty side of things now, I got some more Micellar cleansing water. I love this stuff, it is one of my holy grail products. I'd highly recommend this to anyone it's just that good at what it does and more it's ridiculous. 

From: Superdrug 

Price: £3.00 

I feel like these Colorista hair dyes from L'Oreal are all over the place right now. Everyone is talking about them and raving about them so I just had to get some. If you guys follow me on Twitter you'll know I did have 3 hair dyes. A peach, pink, and a lilac. But I've already tested the lilac colour and it definitely worked and it looked so damn nice, I really loved it. I wanted to review these for you guys but I am waiting until I get my haircut and when I put my ombre back into my hair as you have to have blonde to use these colours in particular. 

But these are great as they have colours for blondes and brunettes so it's catered to more than one hair colour which is nice. I feel like most of the time these kind of things are only catered to blondes. The lilac worked well so I have high hopes for these two shades. It's a great idea for something fun to have for the summer months for festivals and things and it's also great if you know you'd never dye your hair a permanent bright colour but you can test one that lasts a week and washes out. It's not going to do any real damage to your hair because it's just a bit of fun. L'Oreal have released these at a great time as I can tell loads of people will be raving about these for spring and summer. 

From: Superdrug

Price: £6.99 (each or 3for2 in Superdrug) 

Carrying on the obsession with the colour lilac, I got a lilac nail polish. This is from Maybelline in the shade 21 Lilac Wine. This colour is a proper opaque beautiful pastel shade - absolutely sublime for spring. I've been meaning to paint it on my nails all week but just haven't got round to it yet. It's currently on my toe nails though and it's gorgeous. Super bright and feminine. Considering it's only a 60 seconds polish, it's lasting really well on my toes as I've been out in sandals and open toe shoes a lot this week. 

From: Boots

Price: £2.99 

I finally got a new mascara! Unfortunately I just wasn't feeling my Maybelline Colossal Spider Effect mascara anymore, I needed a change, my lashes we're over it. I have tried other mascara's but I always go back to Maybelline. In my opinion they are the best drugstore mascaras. It doesn't matter what mascara it is, I will like it because I just think they are really good for drugstore. One mascara that is probably my ultimate favourite is this one. Every time I go back to it I wonder why I left it or I didn't repurchase it when I went to buy a new mascara. Maybelline The Falsies I feel like was in everyones makeup bags in the early 2010s - everyone raved about it and honestly it's still worth raving about. It makes my lashes super long with just the right amount of volume and it separates them perfectly. And because of the shape of the wand I get a nice curved lash effect. I adore this mascara. 

From: Boots 

Price: £6.99 

 These next three items I have to do together because I purchased them together. I got these three makeup goodies from the Chester Market place on the beauty stand. I cannot remember how much they were each, however in total it was £3.90 or something. 

So I got two lip liners from Laval and I've never tried this brand before but there are loads products form this brand on the stand so I thought I'd try some. I saw thesr two gorgeous lip liners in Coffee and Spice Rose. They are absolutely stunning. As you can see in the swatches on my hand they are really opaque. I wore Coffee the other day and it was actually really creamy and easy to apply to my lips and blended really easy with the lipstick I put over the top. I really like these so far and I'm excited to see how they look with other colours.

This next product is also from the Chester Market beauty stand and it is a lipstick from Rimmel in the shade Vintage Kiss. It's absolutely stunning as you can see. It is this gorgeous deep rich mauve neutral pink with a small hint of metallic shine as you can see in the swatch. I love Rimmel lipsticks - extremely pigmented, extremely creamy, simply stunning. 

 

From: Chester Market Place 

Price: £3.90 (total) 

This top I technically didn't buy but I decided to include it anyway because I think it's gorgeous. If you know me and know me well you'll know this is me in a tshirt if there ever was one. This top is right up my street: floral, duck egg blue background (one of my fave colours), pink and white roses (fave colours and fave flower), cute peep hole detail (just too adorable to not love) = KATIE J. 

So this top actually used to be my mums and she asked me if I'd like to have it as she's only worn it like twice and she thinks I'll get more wear out of it than she will which is very kind of her. I love this top I think you could wear it with jeans for a casual look or you could dress it a little with a white pencil skirt and some heels maybe. 

Thank you mother. 

Well guys that is finally it for this massive haul. I know it was long and I had quite a bit to say but I hope you enjoyed. I love watching and reading long hauls as I find them interesting so I hope you found this interesting. 

I shall see you again Friday when I am joined with Chloe for a Q&A! Until then, bye for now. 

Love, 

Katie 

Blushing in Pink for Spring | Everyday Spring Makeup Tutorial

Hey my lovelies I hope you're all well and are enjoying the Easter holidays. So I hosted a poll recently on my Twitter and my Instagram to ask you guys what you wanted to see next on my blog and although the votes were close, the majority of you said you wanted to see a Spring makeup tutorial. So here it is for ya! So this makeup look above I have been wearing constantly as an everyday makeup look since like mid January- till now and that is crazy considering I don't stick to the same makeup look for more than a month and half maximum. 

So if you wanna get this look and know what I've been wearing on my face for the past 3 months then just keep reading! 

As always, applying my every day base first: 

• Maybelline Better Skin in 05 Light Beige 
• Then taking my go to concealer as always, the Lasting Perfection concealer in Fair from Collection under my eyes drawn in a triangle and taken down my cheeks, along my nose, on my forehead, around the sides of my nose, on my cupids bow, around my lips, and on my chin. Then of course on any blemish areas that I want to cover. Using my beauty blender from Real Techniques for both my base and my concealer. 
• Then using another holy grail of mine, the Rimmel London Stay Matte powder in Translucent. Powdering all over my face with my Makeup Revolution F104 powder. 
• Then I am taking my Ben Nye Banana Powder and baking under my eyes, down my nose, in the middle of my forehead, on my cupids bow, and on my chin using a makeup puff. Baking every where I am going to put highlighter just to really lighten up those areas. 
• Then moving onto my eyebrows, I'm taking my classic Maybelline Brow Drama brow gel in Dark Brown to just give them some shape, colour, and to set them in place. 
• Then shaping my face with Makeup Revolution's Ultra Sculpt and Contour Kit in the shade Fair C01. Just taking the contour to sculpt out my cheek bones on an angled brush and buffing it out in circular motions and contouring my nose using my Urban Decay fluffy brush from their Smoky pallet. 
• Baked both my face contour and my nose contour with Ben Nye's Banana Powder. 
• Taking Makeup Revolution's F103 stippling brush to apply my blush, Bourjois Extrait 03 a glittery pink shade on the apples of my cheeks.
• Finally taking Makeup Revolution's F105 angled brush to apply my highlighter, MUA's Pink Shimmer. Placing it on the high points of my cheeks, my forehead, down the bridge and on the tip of my nose, on my cupids bow, and on my chin.

With the base done, moving onto the eyes. I have been obsessed with using the Active Cosmetics interchanging pallet - you can get eyeshadow quads or lip colour quads. I'm only using it for eyeshadows just because the lip colours don't seem to give me any colour. But it's just a simple black pallet casing and can hold up to 4 eyeshadow quads. So you can carry around 16 eyeshadows in total which makes it a great travel pallet!

Unfortunately the colours don't have names but all am I doing is taking the light pink shade on my Real Techniques Base Shadow brush and using that to apply it all over the lid and throughout the crease. Then I'll just apply a bit to my middle finger to intensify that colour on my eyelid. 

Once I am happy with the colour and the blending of the pink base; taking my finger, I apply some of my Bourjois Extrait 03 to give the eyelid some sparkle as there are small little glitter flecks which you can just about see in these two photos. 

That's the eyeshadow done!

Next I am taking my current every day mascara which is the Maybelline The Colossal Spider Effect mascara on my top and bottom lashes. 

Moving onto my lips, firstly I am lining them with one of Active Cosmetics lip liners, unfortunately it doesn't have a name, but it's just a super pretty lilac/pink shade as you can see. It's really easy to apply - nice, smooth, and creamy. 

Then finally I am going over the top with an Active Cosmetics lipstick, once again, sadly it does not have a name. But as you can see it's just a super light nude/pink shade - perfect for spring and every day. I love this colour because pink makeup products always look really good on my complexion because I have pink undertones which means products like this really compliment my skin. But also because pink is my all time favourite colour. 

And this is the finished look! 

Well that's it for this post, I hope you guys enjoyed and you found this interesting. Let me know in the comments what makeup products you've been loving this Spring. 

There will be two more posts coming your way this week! Due to the poll results being so close I've decided I'm gonna upload the other two posts this week as well! So in a day or two you will have a massive haul (and when I say massive I ain't joking) and at the end of the week I'll be joined by a very special guest and one of my best friends, Chloe! And we're gonna be doing a Q&A with loads and loads of questions ranging from makeup, to food, to relationships, to sex, and even to conspiracy theories! It's gonna be a good one that you wont want to miss - so stay tuned! 

Anyway, thank you for reading guys and I'll talk to you soon! 

Love, 

Katie 

Coffee Chats: Relationships & Breakups - opinions, experience, & advice

Hello my lovelies, I hope you're all well and are having a relaxing Easter holiday. So today we are doing a different kind of Coffee Chats. If you guys have been around for a while now, you'll probably remember, just under a year ago I shared a blog post in a similar format titled, 'Love & Singleness'. If you haven't checked that post out, I'd highly suggest having a read through that one before this one. 

http://katielouisejohnson.blogspot.co.uk/2016/07/coffee-chats-love-singleness.html 

But if you guys have checked out that post and are ready for another instalment in this area, here we go. 

*DISCLAIMER* 

Before we dive in, I just want to state this post is not saying all people who are in a relationship or have gone through a breakup feel these certain feelings I am going to be mentioning. I am also not stating that people who are single feel the same way as me. All of these elements I'm going to discuss with you are personally how I feel and my opinions on the area of discussion.  

This post is definitely going to be long, so grab a drink, preferably a coffee hence the main title of these posts and of course a snack. 

As you can guess by the title we're going to be talking about relationships and breakups which I'd say the majority of people have been through at some point in their life. Or, if you've not had a relationship per say, we've all experienced that feeling of rejection in our lives at one point or another. 

So we all know what the terms 'relationship' and 'breakup' mean. 

relationship: the way in which two or more people or things are connected, or in the state of being connected. 

breakup: the separation, the breaking, or the ending of a relationship. 

But what do those definitions really define in certain stages because they are so open ended. Well, I've discovered two diagrams from the Knapp model. 

I couldn't have defined those titles better myself. So now that we're on the same page, you're main question probably is, Katie wait a minute, I thought you mentioned in your previous 'Love & Singleness' post that you've never had a relationship? and well I can tell you, you would still be correct. I am fully aware that I have never been in a relationship, so these opinions, experiences, and advice are 100% coming from a single person that has observed what I am going to share with you from friends relationships and breakups.

Firstly, I have seen that relationships can be lots of fun however, they seem to take a lot of work. Which is inevitable, both parties have to put time and effort in or else how do you expect a relationship to work. Even though it wont be plain-sailing all the time, in my opinion a relationship should be fun, full of laughs, and happy memories. But even though I'm nearly 20, I personally don't feel ready to be in a relationship and to be known as someones girlfriend. The thought of a relationship would be nice but that's just it. There isn't anyone in my life right now who I am interested in and there hasn't been anyone in my general life that I've thought of in that way for a very long time. 

I haven't shared this with you guys, but from a young age I found it hard to make friends with guys compared to making friends with girls. When I was younger I always felt quite self-conscious around guys. Especially during school and a little during college. 

Is my hair right? 

Does my mascara look right?

Am I pretty enough to be with him? 

Now a few years on from that period, I've realised I don't care about any of those things. Those things shouldn't really matter at all as there is no right or wrong way to do those specific things that are personal to individual people. The only person it should bother at all is me. I already know what makes me feel confident, how I like my makeup to look, the types of clothes I like to wear, how I like my hair being styled etc. 

In relation back to relationships; the concept is extremely alien to me. There are quite a few people around me, especially friends, who are in relationships which has been the same since the end of secondary school. Due to the fact I've never been in one but everyone else around me seems to be. And, in all honesty because of the fact I've never been in a relationship I cannot imagine sharing my life with anyone in that context simply because I never have. I don't know if it feels the same for the rest of you who are in the same situation as me. But it would feel weirder to me to be in a relationship than being single. Once again, simply because I've been single my whole life and everything I've chosen to do always benefits me for me in some way or another. 

If you're someone who has been in many relationships and you date often, you might not understand what I am referring to. But if you're single or you've been single for a long time you'll understand where I am coming from. Mentioned in my previous Coffee Chats: Love & Singleness, if you've never met anyone worth while it's okay to feel like you never will because even I don't think I will. My guard is up constantly when it comes to potentially being interested in someone or once in a blue moon, if someone is interested in me. It's up to the point where sometimes I talk myself out of liking people because I know they wont like me back and because I know the only reason I think I'm feeling that way is because I'm feeling desperate to be with someone and that desperate feeling will eventually pass. Some of you might be thinking, why don't you express those feelings? And my answer is, I would if I knew they were genuine. The majority of the people I "think I fancy", 99.9% of the time, I only fancy the idea of being with them. I don't actually fancy that specific person. For any of you who catch my drift, you will know it is so incredibly hard to figure out if those feelings you're feeling are real. And if that wasn't difficult enough, I don't know how I am supposed to feel. I've been single for so long that's how I don't know if any feelings towards other people in that way are genuine. Obviously I feel love and affection from my family members and close friends but it's a different kind of love and affection in a relationship and it would just be nice to know how that feels. I personally feel sometimes people take that for granted. This is something I swear by in all aspects of my life and that is just to live for the moment right now. Whatever it is you're doing, whether it's a happy moment or a sad moment, you should fully live in each moment of your life because that moment will never happen again. Which is exactly the same with relationships. Couples shouldn't worry about their future together, they should worry about what they're doing right now together. Another point, I feel people get way too persistent on finding "the one". This idea of "the one" I feel is a bit false. More than likely you'll never find that person you deem to be "the one" because it's a bit like a haze - it's someone you imagine in your head. People are so fixed on finding that person straight away; the one they will 100% settle down with and get married to and have kids with. But, have you ever stopped to think you may never truly find "the one" - but instead you find "the one" you need at this very moment now. For example, I'm currently 19 and at university and figuring out what I want to do with my life. At this point in time, the ideal person to be with is probably someone in a similar situation so we're on one another's wave length regardless or not if we get married in ten years time. Whereas, when I'm 30, I will more than likely have my own place and have a job of some kind (I hope) and have a bit more experience in the dating pool by then (we hope and bloody pray). Therefore what I look for in a partner is going to be completely different.

 What's more scary is knowing I'm 30 in ten years time... 

Anyway, my point is this idea of being with "the one" completely changes over time. Obviously in relationships you grow and change as people but if the person you've been with since you were 20 is still the person you deem as "the one" at 40, it definitely shows how your wave lengths have stayed in tune with each other after all those years. If anyone ever truly finds that, you should treasure every second of it as that's a different kind of special. Which is why if someone is "the one" for you at this point in your life and the feeling is mutual, then you should just be with them and if you are supposed to be together you just will be - none of this "our future" nonsense. If you're meant to be together "forever" (as they say) then you will be. 

I know that point was quite long but I hope some of you guys got what I meant. But, now we gotta back track before you even get close to the relationship status. And I guarantee we've all gone through this at some point in our lives, yep you guessed it: rejection. 

Everyone without a doubt has experienced it, even if not in regards to a relationship. Could of been a potential job you applied for or an acting role you auditioned for etc. I am the queen of rejection, I have been rejected with every guy I've ever asked out or ever told someone I had feelings for. I'd say I've gained massive expertise with this feeling in particular. Not to be dramatic but, it is probably one of the worst feelings ever. If it's happened to you then you'll know it's not a very nice experience. I've spoken a lot about it in my previous post that I linked above. So I wont go into too much detail, but once or twice you're probably pretty bummed out but more than likely it wont be anything mentally damaging to you. But when it is every single time it really does take it's toll on your confidence. Which is probably a main reason linked to shoving all those feelings to the side because deep down we're all scared of being rejected. 

However, often I get the impression that people think being single is a walk in the park. Don't get me wrong, everything you choose to do is technically for you. You don't have to worry about your other half's opinions and what they're doing with their day etc. You get more of an opportunity for you, which is great. But being single can still be hard. And it can be hard to enter a relationship when you've been single for so long with no experience of dating and how relationships work, no experience with sex etc. 

Which leads me onto my next point which is breakups. Like we've established as I've never been in a relationship, I don't know what a breakup actually feels like. But once again, I've visually experienced it amongst friends. There's been a few of my friends recently that have gone through breakups of their own which was one of the reasons I was inspired to actually write this post. These breakups in particular, I've discovered that there are five stages to a breakup. 

1. The 'Depressed' Stage

The stage when you've just broken up and you're confused, upset, hurt, don't really know what to do with yourself and how to deal with all these feelings. This stage definitely hurts a lot more if the breakup was unexpected or if it was a messy breakup. But even if it wasn't and it was a mutual agreement. More than likely you'll feel a bit lost in the very early stages of your relationship coming to an end. 

2. The 'Not Caring' Stage 

This is the stage when you claim you're 'over it' and 'you don't care' to try and make yourself feel better. When it's blatantly still obvious you're not over it and you definitely still care. You state to all of your friends you never really loved that person or cared about them and you're happy it's over. But the reality is, you're dying inside. 

3. The 'Bettering' Stage

It's that moment when you're done with being sad and have had enough of pretending to be okay. You've cried out all of those tears and you just wanna move on. Which sounds like a good thing. But, those feelings from your breakup are still extremely fresh. More than likely we've all gone out and said to one of our friends, 'Yeah I don't care anymore.' whilst you're out and you see him or her and try to act like you're doing so well, when you secretly still miss them. So this feeling of getting over it and as the title suggests, 'bettering' yourself is actually false. You just don't know it until... 

4. The 'Realisation' Stage

You finally come to the realisation that you're not in fact over that person as much as you thought and those feelings you had for them. This could be set off by seeing that person with someone else - seeing that they've moved on. This pops that 'you and only you' bubble you had during stage three. You've been so focused on yourself that the rest of the world is forgotten about in your eyes and by seeing them with someone else brings you back to the reality that is life. Physically seeing that person with someone else puts in to perspective that it's really over and it's time to move on with your life. More than likely, you're gonna need a few shoulders to cry on and some friendly support. But where does this leave you now? 

5. The 'Moving On' Stage 

During this stage it's when you begin to reconnect with your true self. You've realised those feelings never really went away and you're stuck about where you go from here. You simply do whatever is best for you. That could be focusing on a hobby or work, spending time with your friends, or even getting into something new. Either way, the more you get back in tune with yourself and really work on your happiness instead of pretending to be happy and make the other person jealous. You'll begin to notice how much happier this will make you feel. 

Remember this doesn't happen over night. It also depends on the type of breakup you went through. But always remind yourself, as cliche as it is, time heals almost all wounds. No matter what you're going through time stops for no one and that is life. It just keeps rolling on. 

I know it can be hard but remind yourself that you didn't need the person to be happy and live your life before you started your relationship with them. 

These stages I've come up with are not done by fact or any research. I have created these due to the experience my friends have had with breakups and how I've interpreted each stage is by physically seeing them deal with their breakups in the same way I've broken each stage down.

Regardless at this point of whether you are in a relationship, are going through a breakup, or in the stage of rejection. We all have to go through this next stage in particular at one point or another. That stage is... 

SELF LOVE. 

People always say no one will ever love them and I'll admit it, I've done it. But everyone always forgets the most vital person who should love them and who will constantly be there for them no matter what they go through. Do you know who that person is? YOU. It is vital that you love your own mind and body before anyone else can love you. Many times throughout my life I have questioned why myself and so and so cannot be together or aren't together and the simple fact is, not everyone is going to be into you. It ain't about pretty or the colour hair you have or the shoes you wear. If there's no mental connection to go with the physical attraction this "relationship" is never gonna work. It's taken me a very long time to come to terms with this concept and if you feel like personally you've not come to terms with that yet. It might be because you need to start tuning back into you and giving yourself some love. 

You should always make sure you stay in tune with what you want, your thoughts, your feelings etc. I feel a lot of relationships end these days due to miscommunication and because people don't talk to each other! I don't understand why our generation these days just do everything online or over messages. What is so bad about actually going out and spending time with another human being? That's the quality time we remember, not tagging each other in funny memes and videos on social media. 

From seeing all different sides of other peoples relationships and breakups, the good and the bad, I definitely do not want to be in a relationship at this point in my life. At this point in my life, my late teens to my early twenties, I need to really just focus on me. At this point in my life all I wanna really do is learn, explore, and discover. Discover what other areas I'd like to work in, in the Drama and Theatre Studies field, making memories with families and friends, and bettering myself as a person - especially from this year in particular, I'm learning a lot more about myself that I didn't know and seeing where my true values and opinions are within my life. Those are the most important things in my life as of right now. And I love doing things for me, I'm not 100% perfect but I just love bettering who I am which makes me love who I am. I love being positive and spreading positivity throughout my life like my favourite quote says, 

When I look back at my life I truly believe I wouldn't be at this point in my life right now if it wasn't for all of the hard times and all of the struggles. It all seems worth it to be where I am at right now. Life is waaaaaaay too short to be hating yourself. We should all know by now that I am a very balanced person. I need to have an equal amount of time for myself as well as family and friends. Which I feel like would definitely still apply when I am in a relationship. 

I sometimes feel like my standards are too high in relation to guys but then I remind myself the only reason they are so high is because I value my worth as an individual and just from watching other peoples relationships I know what I want and don't want. I think I'm looking for a more mature type of relationship but as in, a relationship where I have a real mental and physical connection with someone. I don't want any of that half-ass shit and fake lovey dovey crap all over social media. I want a relationship where we can share our opinions, have dreams and ambitions, support one another in whatever we want to accomplish, to be able to laugh and not take our life too seriously, to really enjoy life together, but can still spend time apart, and to just be insanely in love with one another. 

I think the key will always be to fully know you and love you for who you are before you get someone else to do that. 

I guess what I am really advising you guys to do, whether you're single or in a relationship is to just truly love yourself before you fully invite someone else into your life to love you. At the end of the day, only you know what you want out of life and who you want to be and do not let anything change that. I fully believe that one day, someone will come into all of our lives when the universe knows you're ready for it. That time could be next week or it could be next year, who knows. Even though it can be hard, there are days I still find it hard and just wish it would happen, but then I think about what I have right now and I know what and who I have in my life right now is what is good for me right now. If it wasn't, I wouldn't have it. But whenever it does happen it will be because it is meant to and it will feel natural. 

I hope this post has given you something to take away, or to think about, or to be reminded of. This post is another personal one that I've been planning since January to share with you. It's taken a while to figure out the perfect links between all of the areas talked about, I know some areas went on a bit of a tangent. But I hope within it, it has helped you in relation to whether you're single or in a relationship. 

Thank you guys so much for reading, I love making posts like this. One of the main things I aspire to be throughout my life is an aspiring beam of light. Which to me means someone who can inspire others to be happy and positive. Also because I have been at one of the lowest points a person can ever go in relation to not loving themselves and just hating everything about themselves I don't want anyone else to ever feel the way I did. So I make these posts to hopefully give you guys something to improve your life mentally and physically. 

Helping people is all I've ever really wanted to do and I hope these posts help some of you. 

I will talk to you all again soon, until next time,

Love,

Katie