LET'S TALK | Being Honest and Moving Forward

Hello my lovelies, I hope you're all well and have been having a lovely day.

 As I am typing this it is currently 1:16am on the 4th of July. I just really wanted to come on here and talk to you guys about a few things that have been kind of getting me down over the past couple of weeks and to just be honest with you guys as that's how I always like to be on my blog. 

I always try to stay positive, find the good in every situation, use knock backs as a way to encourage myself to keep going which will then later highlight to me why certain things didn't work out the way I originally envisioned. And, I encourage you guys to do that too. In many of my Coffee Chats posts I've talked about our lives in relation to positivity and how to always try and have a positive mind as it benefits all of our lives and well being so much more in the long run. But that doesn't stop us from having down days, myself included. And at the moment, those down days are at this very moment in time. Don't panic, nothing drastic has happened my family, friends, and I are all good and all well. This down feeling is more to do with inside of my own mind and my own emotions personally.

So, recently, if you've been keeping up with me on Instagram, @ katiej0hnson, then you'll know that I'm home for the summer and that I've been on the job hunt. Just something part time whilst I'm home so I can earn some money. I've applied for so many different potential retail jobs and sadly at this moment in time none of them have really got back to me. Which I'm not surprised about as I've never had a proper job where I've gotten paid before, I'm used to getting rejected in more ways than just one. So that's nothing new for me. And at heart, like I mentioned above, I really do try to stay positive as I am a very positive person in everyday life. However at this moment in time I'm just not feeling in a very positive mood. I'm feeling very down and quite lost at the minute in relation to getting a job and earning my own money. I've never had that experience of working or earning my own money, therefore I never really feel like I'll have it. Which is similar to the way I feel about relationships, if you've read both of those Coffee Chats posts: Love & Singleness and Relationships & Breakups - opinions, experience, & advice, then you'll know that I've never had a relationship and therefore can't ever imagine not being single. Which exactly the same for me in this situation as well, because I've never had a job therefore I can't imagine myself ever being able to get one.

One thing that really irritates me though is the phrase, "you've got no experience" - in certain situations that phrase is true. But I hate it because it makes me feel like I haven't had any worth while experiences in my life just because I can't seem to get a job. All of the experiences I've had throughout my teens seems to be irrelevant and doesn't seem to count for anything when I apply for jobs because I haven't had the experience that those certain employers are after. I'm not trying to sound bitter as certain companies and employers want different things. But it always feels like all of the qualities I have are never what people want and that just makes me feel really sad and really down as I'm just stuck in a loop and getting no where. 

I know deep down in my heart that I am amazing and I hope all of you guys reading this post feel that same way and if you don't then why not? You should always love yourself and everything you are as that what makes you, you. But we're not gonna dive into that, that's for whole other kind of Coffee Chats post... 

But I guess my point is even though I know I have so many incredible qualities that make up me it always never feels like enough, which then makes me feel like I'm not enough. Which makes me feel really low and really upset to the point where I will actually cry (on the verge right now). All of my friends around me either have jobs or can apply for them and get them straight off the bat. Where as I am applying for so many and hearing nothing half the time. Even if I just got an email to be told I'm not who they're after that'd be better than being full on ignored. 

I know I always say to all of you guys to not stress about the future because I am a firm believer in whatever is meant to happen will and I am very spiritual in the sense of life and that things will all just fall into place how they are supposed to. But sometimes I have that pricking thought in the back of my mind of what if. And I never try to focus on the what if's in life because it's a waste of energy. But sometimes I do have the awful thoughts of, what if because I've never had job experience I'll never be able to get a job in the future as the 'future' is very soon. It's only one year left of university which terrifies me even more as when that ends I can't have any reliability on having my education first because it will have finished. One thing that also worries me is how everyone my age and under for that matter has had at least one job in their life and I haven't even managed to get just one. 

My main experiences and interests are obviously anything to do with drama and theatre as well as beauty, fashion, and lifestyle. As those are the main areas I've been associated with through my teens and now and it makes me happy to do something in relation to those few areas as I really enjoy working in them. And the main issues with trying to get jobs in those areas are obviously I'm not fully trained. In order to be an actress, I'd need to go to drama school for that. Who knows maybe one day I will but as of right now, that's not going to be an option. And with beauty and fashion, I have no training or qualifications to be a beautician or a nail artist etc. They're just areas I'm really good at and enjoy but as I'm not trained I'm not consider to do those kind of jobs. Which is a shame at the moment as I'd much rather work somewhere within those areas as soon as I can as that's what I love doing. 

I feel like there's a lot of pressure for us teens and young adults (as if I'm now classed as a young adult) to get a job and work. But the main problem is there's no jobs out there for us to do. And when there is a potential opportunity, we don't get a chance which is just shit. I hope it isn't just me in this kind of situation, if any of you are in a similar situation to me just know you aren't alone and let's chat about it in the comments down below. 

So what does my future hold? 

Honestly, I have no idea, I mean who really does? Myself and my fellow uni pals have been chatting recently about what we're going to do once uni is over. Quite a few of them have said go travelling or go and do a masters or potentially do another course that stems off from our current course but does work in a more specific area. But at this very moment in time for me, I have no clue. Hopefully I will figure it out as I go through third year as once I've graduated it's my time to go out into the world and be selfish. The one thing I really don't want to do is to be stuck in a dead end job that I don't enjoy. I really do want to do big things with my life and just really live it to the fullest as the cliche goes. I do just hope that whatever I do end up doing five years from now that I'll look back and think, 'yes it was all worth it' or 'that's definitely what lead me here to this point'. 

Which brings me to another matter, my life as blogger. 

Over the past few years I've done this as a hobby so I had something else fun to dedicate time to other than just my courses in performing arts and drama and theatre studies. But as the rise of bloggers and YouTuber's is probably the highest it has ever been. I almost can't imagine my life without watching YouTuber's videos anymore. It almost seems that everyone is now a blogger or a YouTuber and obviously if you want to be either of those things and do that as your job you need to dedicate all of your time to it. Which is why this has always been a hobby and not a career just because my priority at this point in life is university. And I could never consider a career in blogging when I pop in and out on posting from month to month. I know it must be frustrating for you guys when there will be some months where I'll upload 4-8 times a month and then I'll take a month or a month and half off because of the priorities at university. As trying to find a balance of everything is hard. I've had people in the past ask me why am I not a YouTuber which is a really lovely compliment and I've never completely ruled out the idea but it is simply just not the right time and for me, that idea, still isn't the right time. Maybe one day, I will make YouTube videos as well as running this blog and maybe that day is at some point in the future but it's not now. I read somewhere a while ago that every person has seven potential career paths which I would definitely agree with. I have so many areas in my life that I am interested in that I want to explore and do. But my biggest decision is which one do I do first and how do I make it so I can incorporate all of my interests into one big thing so I can do all of it. I want to be an actress, and a singer, a director, a blogger, a YouTuber (potentially), write a book/ books, maybe even have my own makeup line out some day, I also want to be a live artist, and maybe be a coach of some sort in the area of lifestyle for mindfulness and happiness and confidence etc, I want to inspire people and encourage people etc. There's just so many things I want to do with my life that I can't do just one thing. I just really want to have the chance to do all of these areas as running like clock work throughout my life. And I know it's a lot so it's going to take a long time to be able to fulfil all of those aspirations but there's nothing I want more than to be able to do what I do best which is all of those things listed above. At the moment I just have no idea how I'm going to, which hopefully I can figure out through my third of university and as I'm graduating. 

But going back to the here and now, I want my blog to become a bit more of a serious thing as I'm getting older and have discovered how much I enjoy it. I'd love to be able to use my blog as a platform for potential other opportunities for my career and my future as a blogger, so I'm only gonna start off small, nothing major. I can't guarantee that over the course of the next year that content and posts will be constant on my blog, but what I can guarantee is that whatever happens I will still be active on here as well as my social medias and I will still upload as much as I can even during the busy time that is going to be third year in a few months. But as of this very moment I've got some plans for my blog I'd really like to do and I hope all of you wonderful readers can get on board as well. 

So the first new element I am going to incorporate into this blog, my Instagram @ katiej0hnson, and my Twitter @ omfgitskatiej is my own hashtag. So I've double checked on both Instagram and Twitter to make sure no one is already using it and no one is! So if you want to find me just type into the search bar on Instagram and Twitter #katielouisejohnson and that way you can find all of my beauty and lifestyle related posts much quicker. 

Secondly I have decided to have upload days for my posts so that way you guys know the days when you can see a new blog post from me as well as hopefully keeping me organised when it comes to posting regularly. So the days and times I have chosen are: 

Monday's @ 6:00pm

Wednesday's @ 6:00pm

Friday's @ 6:00pm 

Now when I am really busy this may differ from week to week and I also may not have a post to upload for every single one of those days I've chosen. But, that is what I am going to aim to do so then you guys know when a post will be coming your way. And to confirm if there will a post on these days I will make a little announcement on Instagram and Twitter. So make sure you're following me on both so you can keep updated - links to both are in my header.  

And just a note, those upload days will not count when I am working on a daily blogging schedule, e.g. Blogmas or Blogust. 

Which brings me to my next point, 

I wanna do Blogust this summer! Which is where I will blog every single day during August. If you guys have been here since this time last year than you'll know that I did Blogmas last year and although it was a challenge I really enjoyed it. However I didn't quite manage to blog every single day but I did really enjoy it and would love to do it again this year but bigger and better! So the main reason I want to do Blogust is honestly just because I'm in the mood to and I've got a few ideas already that I'd like to include however I am open to suggestions. So if you guys have a suggestion or any posts you'd like to see please leave me a comment down below because I'd love to know!

And that is pretty much all I wanted to tell you guys. Reading back through this post before it's published, it's funny how even when I'm feeling down I've managed to perk myself back up to being positive again just from talking to you guys and sharing my opinions and my emotions. 

If any of you guys are feeling a little down about a similar situation to me or about any situation. Let's talk about it in the comments down below, I'm happy to offer advice and try to help if you guys are going through anything where you need some advice. 

Thank you guys so much for reading and I hope this post helped in some way or another. And I'll see you on Friday for a brand new post. But until then, 

Love,

Katie